BREAKING: Brave Warrior Boldly Vanquishes Evil Straw Man
Straw Man, a diabolical evil mastermind, reportedly had a plot to achieve world domination through the most nefarious and underhanded...
BREAKING: Man Determines He Angry About Foreigners This Week
After a rage-filled week over the opinions of the world’s evilest Dictators last week, and an anger-fueled seven-day bender caused by gas...
BREAKING: ‘Facts’ Liberal Plot to Warp Fabric of Space-Time in Their Favor
An anonymous source tells The Daily News Report that there is indisputable evidence that the liberal establishment has constructed a...
BREAKING: US Military to Seize Control, Reinstall Trump, Unless All-Knowing Q Misinterpreted Again..
If we are wrong again, as we have been each and every time since 2018, then there is obviously another plan. This is only logical.
Learning of Biden-Ordered Drone Strike, Conservative Man Decides He Now Anti-War, Pro-Hippy
“He was only actively planning on destroying America,” Lowell told the Daily News Report. “He hadn’t even done it yet.”
BREAKING: Rising Gas Prices Worst Crisis in America Since 9/11
Hide you children. $5 more per 10 gallons means no one is safe.
Man Determines Conservatism Now Just the Opposite of Whatever Liberals Believe
Conservatism shall henceforth be just the opposite position of whatever liberalism is into. There shall be no consensus on anything.
Self-Described Conservative Declares Unconditional Love for Unquestioned Power of Law Enforcement
Tearing up as he delivered his passionate soliloquy about the sacrifices of law enforcement, Jeremy George, 33 of Columbus, Ohio, had a...
Local Man Vows to Defend what He Assumes Probably Written in US Constitution
Michael Sanderson, 52, of North Carolina, told reporters in an interview earlier this week that he has sworn a vow to hold all local,...
BREAKING: No One Cares
As first reported by eyewitnesses and confirmed by The Daily News Report, no one cares about that. Anyone present to perceive and process...
