“Gaming is F%#king Huge: Over $20 Million in Prize Money, so Therefore it’s a Sport,” Says Local Tee
“It’s time for me to finally stand up and say, ‘I’m a professional athlete,’ because no one can beat me at Super Smash Brothers,” says Aidan Thompson, 17, of Lansing, Michigan. He adds, “I don’t care what the dictionary definition of a sport is. It’s time for it to change.”
In recent months, several sports broadcasting companies have chosen to appeal to the changing interests of young people worldwide, and have begun covering competitive gaming. With a brilliant marketing strategy, branding these competitions as, “ESports,” in order to make the competitions sound more attractive and as if they are an actual competition of athletic skill, there is now a growing demographic of people that believe they are athletes simply by virtue of being phenomenally skilled at playing videogames.
Aidan Thompson is on board with this notion, and he told reporters today that, “trolls don’t get it. They don’t think it’s a sport, but I bet none of them have ever even picked up the controller to a console.”
Thompson says, once he graduates from high school, he is going to enter the competitive gaming circuit, of which he says, “All those wannabes competing now have no idea what’s coming once they get a taste of me.”
When asked what Thompson does while not playing videogames, he responded, “I like to sit at my computer looking for people on social media that talk sh#t about esports and I like to fight back against their oppression.”
Thompson went on to say that, “Some of these trolls are tough to deal with. They like to say things like, ‘A large sum of prize money, doesn’t make it a sport,’ and ask, ‘why do you insist on calling it sport, because no one would hate you if you didn’t do that?’ But I know the truth. No one in the world can beat me in Super Smash Brothers, so I am a professional athlete, just like Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Tom Brady, and Derek Jeter. They’re all professional athletes, and so am I.”
Thompson was asked why he considers himself a professional if he’s still in high school and does not make a living doing it yet, and he responded with, “Because I already know. None of those f@%kers stand a chance once I get on the circuit.”
Thompson’s mother was quoted as saying, “That’s his plan, and if he wants to do that, then let him do it. But if he’s not on his own by the time he’s 25, he’ll have to actually get a real job, because he won’t be living here if he can’t pay rent.”
We will be monitoring Aidan’s journey closely in the coming years.
