BREAKING: Suspect in Failed Hyannis Mugging Furious that Victim “Didn’t Fight Fair” in Foiling Muggi
“That Motherf@&ker looked all seriousness and pointed behind me and yelled, “What the hell is that,” when I pulled my knife on him. And...
WARNING: There is a New Danger for Trick-or-Treaters: Pure Plutonium
In 2015, the danger was expensive party drugs, but this year, it’s pure Plutonium. Parents beware. The fear of children mistaking...
BREAKING: Clinton Crushed and Exiled, Allowing Trump to Triumphantly Rise to Power
In a triumphant and glorious victory, the Trump Militia crushed the futile Clinton rebels, killing every last one of them, but sparing...
“Gaming is F%#king Huge: Over $20 Million in Prize Money, so Therefore it’s a Sport,” Says Local Tee
“It’s time for me to finally stand up and say, ‘I’m a professional athlete,’ because no one can beat me at Super Smash Brothers,” says...
Letter to the Editor: "The Correct Way to React to Political Attack Ads"
I'm getting tired of people complaining about seeing attack ads on television. I've been working with politicians and political action...
