Breaking: Canada Recommends United States to Therapist

"America is going through a tough time right now," Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, told reporters, "but as her best friend, we want to help her and we’ve recommended that she see a great therapist."

The therapist Canada recommends to the United States is Joanna M. Portnoy, a specialist in communication and anxiety disorders. “America has developed an inferiority complex,” Trudeau told reporters. “She has very low self-esteem right now for some reason. She’s not the America we met all those years ago. She used to tell everyone she was the greatest country in the world. She thought she was beautiful and wanted everyone to know it. But then things changed. She developed a sense of doubt, and seemed cold and conflicted. We just want to get her help.”

Canada has recently began a campaign of telling America that she is great already and doesn’t need to be, “great again.”

“I feel so bad for her,” Trudeau told us, “It just goes to show you how things can change so quickly.”

Canada hopes America will listen and seek the help she needs. In the coming weeks, the whole world will be watching as America makes her decision.

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