BREAKING: “It Don’t Matter, ‘Cause Trump’s President Now,” is the new, “YOLO.”
“It don’t matter, bro,” 37-year-old Richie Jones told reporters as he proceeded to rob a parking meter. “Trump’s president now, so all...
WALL STREET: In Wake of Election, Self-Righteousness Index Hits All-Time High
The Self-Righteousness Index closed up 15% again on Friday, its third consecutive day with a historic gain. “Traders are thrilled,” an...
BREAKING: Clinton Crushed and Exiled, Allowing Trump to Triumphantly Rise to Power
In a triumphant and glorious victory, the Trump Militia crushed the futile Clinton rebels, killing every last one of them, but sparing...
Breaking: Canada Recommends United States to Therapist
"America is going through a tough time right now," Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, told reporters, "but as her best friend, we...
Bill Clinton: ‘All Right, if You Want Trump to Run Against Me, I’ll Put my Name on the Ballot’
“I was confused at first because I thought my wife was the one running,” the President told reporters, “But now it all makes sense: the...
As Trump Supporters’ ‘#RepealThe19th’ Movement Takes Hold, Charles Manson Supporters Start ‘#RepealT
#RepealTheEntireConstitution say those who want to see convicted serial killer, Charles Manson, in the White House. “If we can work to...
Breaking: Emperor Palpatine Endorses Trump
The Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sheev Palpatine, sent an ambassador from the galaxy far, far away yesterday to deliver news of his...
