Breaking: Emperor Palpatine Endorses Trump
The Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sheev Palpatine, sent an ambassador from the galaxy far, far away yesterday to deliver news of his support for Donald Trump.
“He will be a powerful ally,” the Emperor explained in his holographic message. “He acts on his emotion, his hatred, his fears: he speaks his mind and allows his emotion to control him, and it has made him powerful. The Dark Side is strong in him. He would make a great President of the United States.”
The Emperor joins a list of other bizarre endorsements for trump, from KKK Leaders, to North Korean Dictator, Kim Jong Un. Emperor Palpatine now joins the list of endorsements a Presidential candidate would typically shy away from.
When asked for comment on the endorsement, Trump was quoted as saying, “I love and respect Emperor Palpatine. I’ve met the man many times. We like to talk about logistics. And by the way, logistics are something we need to be better at, and we will be: we’ll be the best at logistics in the world. But like I was saying, the Emperor and I like to talk logistics. It’s not easy to coordinate the logistics of an entire galaxy, but the man does it. The first Death Star didn’t work out. I mean, it did, but a small group of terrorists tragically destroyed it and millions of men on board. I told the Emperor: terrorism is a big issue here in America, too, which by the way, is something we’re going to fix. We’re going to beat terrorism and be the best at beating terrorism in the world, but anyway, Emperor Palpatine is a great man, and I think his endorsement is a good sign that I’m the most qualified man to be President.”
So what is next for Trump? Will this endorsement from Palpatine give him a bump in the polls to challenge Hillary? Early signs suggest not, but the news hasn’t broken everywhere yet.
It will be worth watching in the coming days what impact the endorsement will have.
