Newly-Discovered Kuiper Belt Asteroid has Eccentric Orbit that Definitely Biden’s Fault

Object UGC-406273-05-04-2021 is a dark cold asteroid out in the far-reaches of the solar system. It sees very limited sunlight, but NASA astronomers in collaboration with the ESO have spotted it for the first time.

The orbit of this object is very eccentric and does not follow the typical ecliptic plane of the solar system. This is Joe Biden’s fault. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what could have possibly happened. If Biden hadn’t signed a bill into law drawn up by a bipartisan committee in the house and senate, this might never have happened.

Unbeknownst to the sheep of the world, this bill allocated $6 million to repair a stretch of Highway near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. During this repair, a construction worker could have checked his watch, reflecting a small beam of sunlight into the sky, which could have then been spotted by passing extraterrestrial visitors to the solar system, distracting them and causing them to use UGC-406273-05-04-2021 as a gravitational slingshot on an emergency basis to escape the gravity of Jupiter.

If this is true, then sleepy Joe and his ignorant repair of that stretch of Highway caused astronomers to be unable to discover this object until now. This is a heinous act and Joe Biden must be impeached because of it.