BREAKING: No One Cares

No one cares. As first reported by eyewitnesses at the scene, and confirmed by The Daily News Report, no one that was present to perceive that information and processed it has deemed it worthy of their time.

“Yeah, I mean, I‘ve got a lot going on in my life right now, and there’s no room for me to worry about that,” recounts Carrie Tucker, a local resident who was present to witness it. She then added, “There are more im things to care about than that.”

This comes as a devastating revelation to the very few who do care about that. They were of the belief that this information they care about would change minds and ways of thinking everywhere, but as it turns out, they are in such a small minority that those present at the scene seemed to pay no attention to them, and largely went about their day.

It will be interesting to see if the small number of those who do care go on to offer a passive-aggressive and self-righteous rebuttal to the world’s lack of caring.